Being nurturing and missing your guy is great, but too much of it can be suffocating. So how can you know if you are giving your guy enough space?
Getting the balance right with the amount of space you allow yourselves in a relationship is incredibly difficult. Too much spending time apart and it might seem like you don’t really care about your significant other, and you’re at risk of allowing the relationship to fade away. On the other hand, spend too much time together and you could be neglecting other parts of your emotional and psychological development as a couple.
One of the greatest risks to a relationship is when one half of a couple not only neglects their own personal space and time, but inflicts that neglect upon the other. Such an invasion of private territory can have only one result: separation.
Respecting your boyfriend’s space
A lot has been written about the differences between men and women in areas such as communications, spatial awareness, empathic awareness, etc., but one of the main differences focused upon has been that of the need for space.
That’s to say that we all need our private space, but to a man this space is a sacrosanct and imperishable right. There are myriad homes around the world that have its separate garage, gym, garden shed, basement or game room, where a man can disappear into his own thoughts for a while and charge his batteries. It’s the modern day equivalent of a caveman retreating to his cave.
What you ladies have to ensure is that this space, in the more metaphorical sense of the word, is respected. Fail to do so and he will display signs of aversion, and may even eventually come to despise you for it, if left unchecked.
Signs you’re smothering your boyfriend and he wants his space
The more your boyfriend feels smothered in the relationship, or believes his space is being invaded, the more signs there will be to indicate this, if you know what to look for. However, the signs won’t be coming from him alone, as your behavior can indicate whether you’re smothering him, as well. The following list of ways to know if your boyfriend feels smothered, is split into two categories – his behavior and your behavior.
#1 Body language. Body language is a fantastic interpreter of people’s innermost thoughts or feelings. The spoken word might be steady and measured, utterly convincing in everything it is trying to convey, but the truth is instantly given away by a raised eyebrow or clenched hands.
What you need to look for is his body’s reaction to feeling suffocated or repressed, and that will come across in his stance. If his feet are always turned away from you, if he hugs you with his upper body but with his hips and legs turned away as if anticipating the need to escape, then you can bet your bottom dollar that he feels he needs more space.
Likewise, people devote eye contact to someone whom they wish to spend time with. They use it to lure involvement, and to indicate that they are willing to continue. If he frequently avoids eye contact, then it could be a sign that he is trying to bring any conversation to a swift end, in order to make good his escape and find some space.
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