I’ve learned that, in this life, sometimes feelings can really screw with your head. Lines can get blurry. Toss sεxual attraction and a deep-rooted need to impress into the mix, and it can be hard to tell what the hell is what.
So, we decided to break down specific signs that are giant, shiny, waving RED FLAGS that your partner just doesn’t get you, babes:
#1. You always have to explain why you feel the way you feel to them. I cry at curtain calls when I see a live performance. It’s not rational; it’s not intellectual; it’s visceral, baby.
One time, I went on a date with a fab woman and we went to theatre. The moment the curtain call came, as per usual, the water works started. She didn’t ask me why I was triggered, she wasn’t perplexed or freaked out that I was uncontrollably crying. The girl just got it.
I asked her in the taxi ride home why she thought I couldn’t stop crying at the curtain call and if she thought it was weird.
She smiled at me and said, “It’s not weird. It makes total sense. You love watching people in their moment. You understand the blood, sweat and the tears that go into live performance and you’re feeling the relief of the end with the cast. I totally get it. You’re not crying because you’re sad, you’re crying because it’s a release of all the tension from the show.”
She was spot-on. Because she ~organically~ got me.
On the contrary, I once dated someone who was incredibly alarmed and confused as to why I was so deliriously happy after publishing a piece of writing that I was proud of.
“It’s just WORK!” she said, staring at her cellphone screen, arbitrarily liking photos on Instagram.
Just work? If you think my creative expression, my passion, my “job” is “just work” to me, you don’t get me at all, honey.
See, kittens, a person who gets you will naturally understand why you feel the way you feel. They’re not mind-readers, but they will have a general understanding of your emotional responses. They will validate your feelings, rather than question or undermine them.
They will understand why you’re so moved by a seemingly simple event. A person who doesn’t get you won’t understand your emotional life at all.
You will find yourself constantly having to break down why you feel the way you feel, which is exhausting, but leads me perfectly into my next point.
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