The real love is experienced in the absence of fear, pain and suffering. When any one of those three exist, we experience the illusion of love. “Love is hard” is a worn out phrase that often causes us to think heartache is a natural part of finding love.
But, the more pain and suffering we experience, the more we guard our hearts … which only leads to more heartache. When heartache exists, we can’t help but act in fearful ways — like building walls and not putting ourselves out there — in order to keep scary love away.
The truth is though … releasing heartache is essential to letting love in.
So, if your usual methods of getting over heartache aren’t working (because they focus on keeping pain out), try these 9 steps to actually let love IN:
#1. Accept “what is” and actually feel your emotions. You might resist letting yourself feel for fear of getting sucked into your emotions. But, there’s a difference between getting sucked into the downward spiral of emotions and flowing with the emotions in a healthy way. The downward spiral happens when you allow your mind to spend time feeling sorry for yourself, feeling regretful or thinking in great detail about what could have (should have) been.
When you’re present with your emotions, you see things for what they are, instead of what you hoped they would be. The next time painful emotions come up, take some deep breaths and let your body feel into the emotions, without judgment. The more you do so, the more these toxic emotions dissipate.
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